The Gravitation Story with no Appropriate Name
by we-are-TAD
Summary: Shuuichi has been kidnapped! By who? ...we don't know. Warning: OOCness, language, tea parties (eventually), and YS fluff!
1. The Kidnapping

_Welcome everyone, to "The Gravitation Story with no Appropriate Name."_

**There's a few things we have to warn you about before you begin reading this fic.**

_One, we were mostly sugar high when we wrote this._

**Two...well, I was going to warn about the shounen-ai, but seeing as this is Gravi we're writing for, that would be a given.**

_Good point...Oh, and we don't own Gravitation._

**Yeah. Also, expect OOCness and bad jokes. We don't write the stuff, so-- **

...wait. Nevermind. We DO write the stuff.

_Oh, and there's good news._

**Mm, good news. Well, good for you guys at least. Not for me, because it forces me to...not be lazy. Anyway, it's a contest.**

_In most of our stories we will include ourselves (The Anonymous Duo) in a story in some minor or major way. Whoever can guess (send your guess in an e-mail please)what part we played in the story first gets a one shot written about their favorite pairing._

**But nothing we're squicky about. And 99.99999 of the time, it'll have to be yaoi.**

_Right. No Mary-Sues._

**And...uh...hm. Oh! No smut. Fun to read, but not to write. Truuuust me. sweatdrop**

_Oh, one more warning. If it takes a while for a chapter, it's her fault, not mine._

**Yeah! 'Cus I'm a procrastinating bum!**

_We hope you enjoy the first chapter of "The Gravitation Story with no Appropriate Name."_

She grumbled in sheer frustration. _He was supposed to arrive here five freakin minutes ago_, she thought to herself agitatedly. Suddenly she saw a very familiar mop of cotton-candy pink hair and the sound of happy footsteps. She switched on her headset and spoke into the microphone. "Target sighted."

There was a brief rush of static in her ear, followed by a voice replying, "Good--you know what to do. If anything goes wrong, I want you to get out of there ASAP, got it?"

Shuuichi, oblivious to the suspicious actions occurring nearby, hummed jubilantly to the tune of his latest hit song. "Save me and I'll save you," He began to sing aloud in his world-renowned voice. "Don't tell me to go, I'll come back..."

She saw him coming closer so lowered her voice to a whisper, "Got it." She then plugged the headset into a CD player and planted a small smile on her face. She then closed her eyes and nodded her head to the beat of imaginary music. She purposefully ran into Shuuichi and feigned surprise. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I just really like this song and...are you Shuuichi of Bad Luck?" she said as though she were just a passer-by.

"Eh?" Shuuichi looked up, his doe-like, purple eyes fixing the girl with a surprised stare. "Um...yeah." He became aware of shifting stares towards him and soft whispers, and laughed nervously. "But, ehe, could you not shout it so loud?"

She blushed. "Of course, sorry." She then looked down nervously. "Hey, can I make it up to you? I can drive you home or something," she said quietly.

"Uhm..." He pursed his lips thoughtfully. He could use a ride home...but hadn't Yuki said something about riding with strangers? Something about...not doing it?

...nah, he must have been imagining it.

"Okay!" he chirped, grinning ear-to-ear. "Thanks!"

She smiled innocently. "You're very welcome," she said happily, inwardly smirking evilly. _The fool,_ she thought. "Are you going to buy anything?" she asked, still feigning kindness and innocence.

"Hm? Oh, yeah!" He grinned, holding up a fluffy-looking bear, white as snow with an over-stuffed heart placed in it's left paw. "I'm getting it for my Yuki-chan! See, lookit what it does!" He squeezed the paw without a heart and a voice guaranteed to give you cavities piped up, "I wuv you!"

The girl laughed very slightly, sweatdropping. "How...a...a...adorable! How completely adorable!" she said quickly. _That stupid bear makes me want to puke..._she thought angrily. "Well, buy it and we'll go," she said, turning away from the spastic boy and the despised bear.

"Mmkay," The pink-haired rockstar chirped, bouncing to the register and placing the bear on the counter. Soon he was holding a paper sack containing his very well thought out and very suitable gift for Yuki, and was back beside the girl. "Okay, ready to go!" He hugged the sack cheerfully. "By the way, thank you for offering to drive me home!"

She smiled. "It's no problem, no problem at all," she said, leading him out of the store and up to a chic, black Mazda Miata. "Hope you don't mind a convertible," she said to him.

Shuuichi gazed upon the car with visible awe. "Wow! It's really nice! Looks kind of like Yuki's!"

Suddenly, the voice from before spoke up again in the girl's ear. "Do you have him?" It whispered urgently.

"Really? That's fascinating. I bet mine is less expensive then this Yuki guy's," she said, being sure to speak into the microphone when she mentioned Yuki. She then opened the door for Shuuichi and got into the driver's side of the car.

The voice fell silent, and even if it had spoken it would have been overpowered by Shuuichi's sudden spout of Yuki loving--'Yuki is this' and 'Yuki does that' and 'Sometimes he stabs me but I still love him'. The engine growled to life, and thus, they were off.

She drove smoothly, swerving in and out of the heavy traffic. She popped in a Bad Luck CD to relax the boy. She tapped on the microphone three times, the signal that meant she was on the way. "So, are you planning to go on tour soon?" she asked.

"Well, not right now," Shuuichi replied. "Hiro's got the stomach flu, so we have to wait that out. But as soon as Hiro's better, we might go--" He blinked, pausing suddenly as he watched cars zip by. "W-Wait..." Gears groaned and creaked as they tried to start moving again after years and years of neglect from the pink-haired boy. "...Where are we going? I haven't told you where I live..."

She ignored him as she merged to get to the correct exit, her face distant. She turned onto the exit and slowed down as they came to a suburb. She drove along a wooded path with houses passing by and drove into the forest, now on a dirt trail. She came to an impressive house and stopped. "Here we are," she said to Shuuichi.

"Where is here?" He asked, panic evident in his slightly feminine alto voice. "Th-this isn't my house! Why are we here!" He fixed his eyes, wide and frightened on the girl as he scooted away from the stoic girl. It never struck him to open the car door and run, but then again, Shuuichi wasn't the type to have good ideas.

She opened her door and stepped out. She then moved to Shuuichi's door and opened the door. She unbuckled the frightened boy's seatbelt and dragged him out of the car and into the now menacing-looking house. "C'mon," she said with little feeling in her voice.

"Wh-What are you doing!" He whimpered, tugging against the girl's firm grip. She was surprisingly strong for someone of her stature (or maybe Shuuichi was just a wimp, which is highly plausible). "Let me go, dammit!" When commanding didn't work, he resorted to the intimidation technique, "I'll sue, you bitch!" Still, the girl kept dragging him, frowning listlessly.

A figure rose from a chair nearby, startling Shuuichi. When the hell did that…person get there! Through the dark shadow masking the figure's face, a pair of lips were quirked upwards in a smirk. The shadowed person stepped forward.

"Hello…Shindou Shuuichi."

Shuuichi screamed.

Meanwhile:D

"The brat's late," Eiri Yuki grumbled to himself. "Seriously, how long does it take to get a six-pack of beer and a pint of ice cream! Apparently it takes a millennium for that idiot…and I'm talking to myself. AGAIN. Damn Shuuichi…" Yuki said lowly as he pulled his coat on and grabbed his keys. "I'll kill him…" Yuki said as he left the apartment.

AT THE STORE:D

Yuki burst into the drug store he sent Shuuichi to and searched the aisles. After not finding him, he went to the cashier. "Have you seen an adorable, pink-haired moron by chance?"

The cashier thought then smiled. "Yes, he left a half-hour ago with a girl, she was going to drive him home," she replied.

"….WHAT!111111oneoneone1"

Once Yuki's enraged scream had died down and the store's cashier's eardrums ceased bleeding, a high-pitched, annoying voice piped up from within his pocket, "I love my Yuuuuuki, yes I dooooo! Yuuuuuki loves me, beeeeetter than you! Yuuuuuuki, oh Yuuuuuki, you make my tear ducts speeeeeew--"

Yuki growled in annoyance and grabbed the cell phone from his pocket and quickly flipped it open. "What!" he barked.

The cashier looked up meekly and said, "Nice ring-"

"Shutup," he said dangerously.

"Eiri Yuki," a raspy voice whispered at the other end.

Yuki's eyes widened. "What?" he asked.

"If you ever want to see your teddy bear again, bring twenty million-"

"Say a giftcard to Border's!" A voice in the background interjected, "Say a giftcard to Border's! Say it!"

"Alright, alright!" the other voice said, the sound muffled. The raspy voice came back saying, "Bring a twenty million dollar giftcard to Border's to The Black Bear Café at 6:03 tomorrow night or the bear gets it!"

Yuki blinked. "….why Border's?"

"Duh, the manga!" The voice in the background supplied, followed by a slightly exasperated sigh from the one who was (apparently) holding the phone.

Yuki blanched at the amount. "I don't have that much money! Just give me my boyfriend back!" he yelled into the phone. There was the sound of the phone being grabbed.

"Who ever said we had Shuuichi!" The voice that had previously been in the background was now more prominent. "We said we had a teddy bear, not Shindou Shuuichi!"

Yuki looked bewildered at the idiocy of the kidnappers. There was an exasperated sigh in the background. "This is why you don't make the ransom calls," the first voice said and there was the sound of the phone being grabbed. "Okay, tomorrow, 6:03, Black bear Café, 20 million dollar Border's giftcard, or the brat gets it," the raspy voice said then the click of the phone being hung up. Yuki's eyes were as wide as saucers and he walked out quickly.

"Why are you doing this!" Shuuichi snapped, eyes watering with unshed tears. "What do you have against me and Yuki!" The girl previously hidden by shadow whirled around, glaring icily down at the pink-haired rockstar.

"Why are we doing this, you ask?" She hissed waspishly, then chuckled. It wasn't a pleasant sound.

The first girl rolled her eyes. "That evil thing isn't working after your little appearance on the ransom call!" she said in agitation, shooting the other girl a small glare.

The other girl wilted, then added in a whiney tone that rivaled Shuuichi's, "You don't have to say it like that...!" Shuuichi blinked, glancing between the two girls in confusion. "Um..."

The first sighed and shook her head. "If you calm down, I'll make you a bowl of miso ramen," she said to her, holding up a small plushie. "Naru-kun wants you to calm down," she said in a fake affectionate voice.

Girl number two sniffled, regarding the plushie hesitantly before glancing back up at the other girl. "You mean it...?"

Shuuichi face-faulted. "Uh, hello...?"

The girl looked over with a bored stare. "Oh yeah, you," she said, "go listen to my stereo or something, I'll call you when dinner's ready." She then turned back as though he wasn't a kidnapped victim.

"You know," Shuuichi began hesitantly, "You still haven't answered my question."

"Mm?" The girl with the plush looked up. "Oh! Oh, yeah. Well, you see…" Her brown furrowed as she looked for the right words, and then she turned to call over her shoulder, "Hey, Me—"

The first girl's eyes narrowed into a death glare and she clamped her hand over the second girl's mouth. "Ssh! We're using our code names, _remember_?" she hissed angrily.

The plush-holding girl rolled her eyes, peeling the other girl's hand off of her mouth with a frown. "Fine, _Akari._" She emphasized the code name with a sarcastic tone. "I was just going to ask if it's okay for me to tell him the real plan?"

Akari shrugged nonchalantly. "Sure, whatever. I'm going to start dinner," she said as she walked to the kitchen.

"Okay!" She turned back to Shuuichi with a smile on her face, very different from her previous (and very corny looking) expression of intimidation. "Akari and I—you can call me Shibby, by the way—we're big supporters of yours and Yuki's relationship together. Through sources I won't reveal right now, we learned that Yuki's having a bit of trouble coming to term with his feelings for you. So we thought, why not help out?

"We kidnapped you so that Yuki would realize how much he really loves you. We'll go to any length to assure that you and Yuki live happily ever after!" Somewhere during her speech, Shibby had stood up and currently had her hands clenched in the air, her eyes alight with determination.

Shuuichi's bottom lip quivered a bit as a single tear made its way down his cheek. "Y-you guys…I-I don't know what to say…"

"KUSO!" a yell came from the kitchen, followed by the sound of a food related explosion, smoke billowing out.

Shibby, having been blown ontop of Shuuichi by the force of the explosion, sat up and quickly rushed to the kitchen. "Akari, you okay!"

Akari and the kitchen were currently covered with burnt ramen noodles. She grit her teeth in pure frustration. "Not. One. Word."

"...Pfft," Shibby couldn't hold it in. "AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA, WHAT KIND OF LOSER CAN'T EVEN COOK INSTANT RAMEN! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" She fell over, clutching at her stomach as she rolled around on the ground. "HAHAHAHA, YOU SUCK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Akari's eye twitched and she threw a ladle at Shibby's head. "SHUT IT YOU DISEASED HEDGEHOG!" she yelled angrily at Shibby, fuming.

"AHAHAHA-SHIT! OW, THAT HURT, DAMMIT!" Shiby clutched her head, pointing up at Akari.

Shuuichi, pale in the face, watched the mini-fight with a stupefied expression.

_These girls...are insane._


	2. The Meeting

_We're back! With a vengeance! And muffins! And 4 reviews! Do you have ANY idea how pathetic 4 reviews is! perfectionist_

**Hey, at least we got some reviews. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.**

_Good point…anyway, we've finished chapter two! No thanks to her..._

…**Eh! What does that mean! I've done plenty, in fact, I've done…more than plenty!**

_Only because I forced you! You are the biggest procrastinator I know!_

**Well, you're the biggest _workaholic _I know, you slave driver!**

_Without me here we'd never get anything done and you know it!_

**Without me, we'd…er, we'd…well, I'm not sure what would happen without me, but I know you'd certainly be bored as hell on your own. Grin**

…_sigh Good point. Anyway, I have to warn you, when we wrote this chapter I was high on muffins, soda, and custard, so it may be a bit strange…_

**Yeah, and I'm just an all around crack-head. So, yeah.**

**Oh! And a little update on the guessing on who we are contest thing.**

_Yes. We can be any OC in here, so don't limit yourself. Also, it would be best to answer at the end of the fic, when all the characters are out. And please, please, please, answer in an e-mail. I don't give a damn if you are lazy, we could get deleted if you answer in a review. I've seen it happen._

**(Not like anyone would miss us. Sigh.)**

**Disclaimer: We don't own Gravitation. We do own, however, some muffins and a DDR mat.**

_(P.S.: If you don't have an account on here's my e-mail for the contest or whatever: hope you enjoy this chapter, and we'll see you in chapter 3!)_

Clicking her chopsticks together, Shibby eyed Shuichi's rice hungrily. "Mmn, gonna eat that rice?" Her lips pulled back to reveal her teeth in a wolfish grin.

"E-Eh…n-no, that's alright," He said, laughing nervously, and almost lost his hand as Shibby all but tore into the tasty white grains. "…you know, you guys really aren't that evil after all."

"That's because you haven't made us angry yet," Akari said matter-of-factly as she reached to steal some of Shibby's lo mein. "Of course, you're so adorable, we'd never _think _of harming you," she added.

"I-I see…" Shuichi replied weakly, adding another feeble laugh. Shibby looked up abruptly from the now empty rice-bowl, a few white specks sticking to her chin and the corners of her mouth.

"Hey, Shuichi, after dinner, wanna play DDR?"

"Ah! You have DDR! I love that game!" The vocalist cried, his previous trepidation gone and replaced with his trademark hyperness.

Akari sighed. "You do that. I'm getting some green tea and curling up with a good book," she said, getting up to go boil the water. "Try not to break anything this time Shibby, I can't afford to replace another vase," she called as she headed into the kitchen.

"Fine!" Shibby called back scuttling towards the TV room. "I have to warn you, pinky, I'm on Heavy mode." She smirked, but it faultered upon seeing the purely devious look in Shuichi's eyes.

"And I've never lost," He said, grinning smugly, "so don't get your hopes up, onigiri-chan."

Shibby's eyes flashed.

"It's on."

Akari sighed happily as she began to sit down in her favorite chair with _Get Backers._ She soon flinched as a scream and crash was heard in the other room, followed by Shibby's voice screaming. "SHUICHI DID IT!" Akari groaned and rubbed her temples. "Get over it…it'll all be over so-" she was cut off by another crash.

Meanwhile!

Yuki shut his eyes at the frantic scream of Sakano on the other end of the phone. "HE'S BEEN WHAT!"

Yuki pinched the bridge of his nose. "Kidnapped."

Sakano screamed, "BY WHO!"

Yuki finally lost it. "IF I KNEW I WOULDN'T BE SITTING ON MY ASS DEALING WITH YOU!" he screamed. He heard a sob and the phone being handed to someone else. He got a sense of dread but ignored it.

"Oh, Yuki-san!" A smooth, somewhat boyish voice hummed over the line, "What's this I hear about our precious vocalist being kidnapped?"

Yuki mentally kicked himself for ever calling. "He went shopping and some crazy bitch picked him up. They're asking for 10 million dollars in a giftcard to Border's at the Black Bear café by 6:03."

"10 million?" K repeated, and was echoed by an outburst from Sakano. After a thoughtful pause, the manager of Bad luck continued, "Leave it to me, Yuki-san!" There was the distinct sound of a gun being cocked; one could almost _hear_ K's grin.

Yuki sighed. "Whatever. I'm getting a beer and a smoke. Oh, K, if you hurt Shuichi I'll shove your gun up your ass," he said before hanging up.

"It's so romantic!" K sighed after setting down the phone. "Don't you think so, Sakano-san?" The man in question was currently rolling around on the floor in a puddle of his own tears, muttering a dismal mantra of, 'Shindou-san, Shindou-san, Shindou-san.'

Looking away from the pathetic display on the floor, K placed a hand heroically over his heart. "Fear not, Shuichi-kun! We shall save you from your disgusting kidnappers!"

(Shibby sneezed, thus causing her to slip on her DDR mat and lose the match.)

K grinned maniacally, picking up the phone again.

"I have a plan!"

Yuki grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and grabbed his cigarettes from the counter. He then retreated to his study, plopping in his chair and opening the beer. He then grabbed a cigarette, lighted it, and was just about to put it to his lips when—

BRRRRRRRING!

"_What_!" Yuki snarled into the phone. K replied, unfazed by the novelist's anger:

"I have a plan, Yuki-san, and if it's going to work, I'll need your complete cooperation."

SOON

"57, 58, 59--It's 6:04, kill the kid," Akari said as they waited in the small café.

"No!" Shuichi squealed, jumping up. "H-He'll be here soon, don't worry! He's just fashionably late for everything."

Akari scowled. "I don't take 'fashionably late,' I take results!" she said angrily as she banged her fist on the table, nearly sending her tea flying.

Suddenly the door swung open, a very familiar novelist entering. Akari looked up and smirked slightly. "Konnichiwa Yuki-san," she said sweetly.

"Yuki…" Shuichi breathed, his heart skipping a beat upon the sight of his boyfriend. To tell the truth, he had been faintly worried that Yuki wouldn't show up; now he felt incredibly stupid for ever doubting the blond novelist. Shuichi's vision blurred as tears filled his eyes.

_Yuki, you really do care…!_

Yuki snarled and stalked over, thrusting out an envelope. "I have what you want, just give Shuichi back!" he yelled.

Akari gently took the envelope and opened it, taking out the card. "Very good Yuki-san," she said, smiling.

"Y…Yu—" Shuichi began, but was startled into silence as a cup of coffee was slammed onto the table, the top being the only thing keeping the hot liquid in.

"There's no fucking cream!" Shibby growled. "What kind of shitty coffee joint doesn't have any damn cream! I can't drink my fucking coffee without cream, don't those bastards know that! What the he—" She blinked, noticing Yuki for the first time. "…Oh, you're here. Hi Yuki!"

Akari sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "This is why you don't make the negotiations," she said. "Anyway, a deal's a deal, here," she said as she led Shuichi over to Yuki.

Yuki grabbed Shuichi and held him close, glaring at Akari angrily.

Shuichi had only a moment to bask in the warmth of Yuki's possessive embrace, before Shibby snatched him back by the collar of his shirt.

"Thought you could fool us, huh?" She said slyly, keeping a firm hold on Shuichi's arm. "Well, think again, jerk. That card's a fake—I can tell."

"F-Fake!" Shuichi wailed, his bottom lip quivering. _Yuki! Yuuuuuki! Let me go to my Yuki, dammit! Yuuuuukiiiii! _

A faint voice was heard in the background. "Dammit, time for plan B..." suddenly the two girls were surrounded by cocked guns. Akari's eyes widened. "HOLY CRAP!"

"Freeze, scumbags!" K said, perched on a table with a very dangerous-looking weapon aimed at the two. Shibby twitched.

"'Scumbags'?"

Akari suddenly glared at the American. "SCUMBAG! I took money from my own pocket to feed this brat! Even after he broke a family heirloom! You're the scumbag for aiming that monster at me! Scumbag…" she said, glare never faltering.

Yuki tried to tug Shuichi back, glaring at Shibby.

"You got some moxie, lookin' at me like that, asshole!" Shibby barked, completely transformed from her clumsy, absent-minded former self. "You want this punk, you gotta _take _him from me!" She shoved Shuichi behind her, standing possessively in front of the panicking boy.

"Waah, Yuki, save me! Waaaah!" He warbled, flailing around uselessly.

"Tch, we've got no choice," K muttered. "Aim—_fire_!"

Akari's eyes widened and she shoved Shuichi and Shibby away as she heard the triggers. She shoved the table up as the barrage of bullets came, hitting the table. She breathed a silent sigh of relief. "Shibby! Evasive plan Delta!" she yelled over the bullets.

"Aa!" Shibby yelled back, ducking behind the cash register. "Wait—where's Shuichi?"

"Yuki!" Shuichi dodged another barrage of bullets—_fucking sucky aim!_—attempting to escape the two crazy girls. "Oooi! Yuki!"

Akari's eyes widened. "YOU LOST SHUICHI!" she yelled.

Yuki dodged the bullets. "Shuichi!"

Shuichi's eyes lit up. Maybe he could get out of this, maybe he could get back to Yuki before—

Shibby clapped a hand over Shuichi's mouth, wrapping her other arm around his waist to keep him still. Her eyes met with Yuki's briefly, flashing with something that wasn't quite evil, and then—

_Click, bang._

The gun went off—triggered by Akari—and the bullet went straight for Shuichi's temple.

Yuki's eyes widened. "SHUICHI!"

Akari threw down a pellet, the entire area going up in smoke. As it cleared, Shuichi, Shibby, and Akari had disappeared.

Yuki's eyes widened and he fell to his knees. "Shuichi!" he yelled in despair.

Shibby slung Shuichi's limp form over her shoulder, following Akari as they leapt from roof-to-roof. "Well, Yuki's really gonna be pissed now," She muttered dismally, glancing at Shuichi.

Akari sighed. "Yeah, but we have to test his limits…" Akari trailed off, glancing back at Shuichi. "Shuichi won't be happy though…"

"Yeah…but won't he be surprised when he finds out Shuichi's not really dead?" Shibby snickered mischievously.

"Yuki-san," K started, pausing uncomfortably, "I'm…sorry." He gazed solemnly down at the other man.

Yuki buried his head in his hands. "He's….gone…" he said quietly. "He's gone!" he cried out suddenly. He shot a death glare at K. "You and your damn plan! Because of your plan my Shu-chan is gone forever!" Yuki screamed, diving at K. "I'll kill you!"

K dodged, ducking out of Yuki's range expertly. "Yuki-san, this is hardly my fault! I assure you, Shuichi-kun is very valuable to me, if only as a talented vocalist." His eyes glinted, before he added, "If it's anyone's fault, it's those kidnappers. They are the ones at fault, here."

Yuki wouldn't have it. K's plan had scared them off, so K would suffer. Yuki tackled K, strangling him. The other men ran up, forcing Yuki off the gasping K.

"Please calm down Yuki-san!" one yelled, trying to calm the crazed author.

Yuki continued to scream in anger and hopelessness, finally slumping against one of the men in exhaustion. "Shuichi...come back…." He murmured.


End file.
